Love Potion Number Nine
by Sleeping Tiger
Summary: The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. And we all know what curiosity did to the cat. So what happens when the Napoleon of Crime and a notorious couple of cats try to cure their boredom? [Not your everyday pairings]
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, this idea popped into my head randomly the other day, and seeing how stressed out I am, I decided the best way to diffuse that stress is to use up what little time I have doing something I love: wasting it! Time, that is. Anyways, I tend to get really hyper and weird when I'm under stress, or snarky, but today, I'm just weird, and I HAD to write something for Valentine's Day that had nothing to do with two characters falling in love and getting together as they always fall in love and get together. I wanted to be different, but God knows this idea isn't original. I also am considering just leaving it up for a short time, a LIMITED EDITION fic! Lol, can I do that? As I said, weird...Anyways, I'm enjoying playing with this idea, so I hope you enjoy reading it. And in the words of Max Bialystock from _The Producers_, "If you think it stinks, keep your big mouth shut!" Just kidding, I welcome critiques, as long as they're CRITIQUES.   
_

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Chapter 1

Two tabby cats rested on top of a brick wall. That is, one rested, while the other was simply restless. And it was all the queen, Rumpelteazer, could do to get the attention of her partner in crime. She waved her tail back and forth, but he paid no attention. She made soft little mewing sounds, as a kitten does when they find something interesting, but he continued on with his eyes closed. She rolled on her side, her paws sticking out, just grazing against his fur, but he simply shifted his body weight away from her. Finally, she crouched low, ready to pounce Mungojerrie, but when she heard her partner in crime "merr" in discontent, she reconsidered it. He didn't even have his eyes open…how did he see her?

But the young queen wouldn't have her plans of trying to have fun thwarted. She came up to the lazing cat, bit softly onto his ear and pulled. Mungojerrie swatted at the queen in irritation, opening one eye to address her. "What?" he grunted.

"Jerrie," she whined, pouting to the tom. "I have something wrong with me."

Mungojerrie instantly got up and looked at the queen with concern. "What's wrong, Teaze?"

"I have a case of…" she paused for dramatic emphasis. "…_ennui_."

Mungojerrie's eyes went wide. "That sounds serious."

"Nah, it just means I'm bored." She grinned.

Mungojerrie's concern turned sour as he whacked the queen upside the head with his paw. "Well, I hope making me sound like an idiot was worth getting rid of your boredom."

"_Ennui_," she corrected.

"Whatever."

"But it didn't, Jerr'!" She said with a hint of desperation in her voice. "It didn't get rid of the ennui! And now that you know I have ennui, you can't just let me sit here, stewing in my ennui. You can't! Imagine what the other cats would say! You _have_ to help me get rid of it!"

Mungojerrie's attention went to something else, and Rumpelteazer's eye followed. A tom cat was walking towards them. A cat who had an air of intimidation, with fur streaked with red that screamed of the victims of his past. His sunken in eyes and highly domed head made him intimidating (or comical, depending on the head imagining it.) And as he jumped up onto the wall and sat by the two cats, silence followed.

Then…

Rumpelteazer tugged on his non-existent ear. "Macavity," she whined. "I'm bored!"

"Teazer!" Mungojerrie yelped, as the ginger cat didn't bother to move. "You don't just crawl all over the Napoleon of crime like that!"

"Oh, he doesn't mind," Rumpelteazer said, as she was practically sprawled over the unnervingly calm tom cat. "Do you, Macavity?"

Macavity looked over to the queen with half closed eyes. "You _do_ realize how dangerous boredom can be to a cat…don't you?" The queen stared at the tom, before slowly getting off and backing away towards Mungojerrie. "Good girl," he said half-heartedly. He then stretched lazily, before turning his attention to the two cats.

"Why don't you just think of something to do?"

"Well, if I could do that," Rumpelteazer rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't be bored!"

"Maybe," Mungojerrie suggested timidly, "You could help her out?"

Macavity shrugged his shoulders. "Do you think if I could think of something to do, I would be here with you two?"

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer exchanged glances, before smirking to themselves. They sat quietly, waiting for something to happen. Secretly, they hoped for something earth-shattering, mind-boggling, and dripping with excitement to come along; like a comet landing right in front of them, chockfull of crevices to explore, or a visitor from another planet.

But instead, they got an everyday, _normal_ visitor. A red queen was walking up towards the three, as they sat in their respective spots on the wall. "What…are you three doing here? Together?" She looked suspiciously up to each cat.

Mungojerrie looked down to the queen. "We're bored, Bomba."

"We've been struck with _ennui_," Rumpelteazer explained with a whine.

Macavity simply twitched his tail.

"Oh," Bombalurina said, shrugging. "Well...you two can continue being bored or something. Macavity, there's a queen who wants to talk to you."

"I would rather die of boredom than have to talk to Griddlebone again," said the ginger tom dryly, his ears falling back against his head at the thought.

"No, not her. Some gold queen. Says her name is Demeter."

Macavity jumped to his feet uncharacteristically quick, causing the other cats near him to jump out of the way. The ginger tom cleared his throat, as even he didn't expect that reaction from himself. "I'll go meet with her in a moment. Go tell her that I'm coming and keep her company."

Bombalurina grinned knowingly at the tom. "Sure."

"And Bombalurina." The queen stopped, as she was about to walk off. "Never give me that look again." The grin on her face was wiped off immediately as she turned and went on her way, more hurriedly than before.

As soon as the queen was out of earshot, the tom turned to the tabbies behind him. Instinctively, they cowered at the sudden movements of the superior cat, but upon seeing the mischievous grin on his face, they couldn't help but be curious about what he had to say.

"I think I've thought of an assignment I can give you…"

----------

Demeter looked about her surroundings, her amber eyes wide in amazement and fear. She was hardly familiar with this territory, and didn't much appreciate plunging into the unknown. She wasn't accustomed to tall buildings closing in on her from three directions, and the thought of there being only one way out made the fur on the back of her neck rise. But the chance to work beside the legendary Macavity was too great an opportunity to pass up.

Bombalurina looked the queen over, before letting out a small laugh. Demeter gave her a questioning look. "It's nothing," Bombalurina said.

"Well, it had to be something," Demeter reasoned. "It was enough to make you laugh."

"You just seem so _eager_, is all."

Demeter's fur puffed out. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"Because you're dealing with Macavity."

The young queen lifted her head high, though her ears seemed to fall back against her head. "I can handle him."

Bombalurina simply shrugged at the younger queen's comment, before looking out to the opening of the alleyway. Then she stiffened in attention. "Alright, here he comes," she announced, not taking her eyes off the tom.

Demeter tried her best not to look too terrified as the cat she had only had one encounter with walked with a deliberate air towards them. The little queen stepped forward, determined to make a good impression. The tom approached her, and Demeter opened her mouth to deliver her prepared speech, "My--"

"Don't speak unless spoken to," he said sternly, causing the queen to shrink in size almost instantly. "Stand up straight. No, _straight_. That means your back has to be straight, not just lifting your head higher. Ears up…I won't _hurt_ you, _kitten_. And what is that around your neck, a collar? What is it with house cats wanting to work for me?" He looked over to Bombalurina, who had a similar collar around her neck. The queen gave a smug smile, and shrugged nonchalantly. She seemed to have relaxed quite suddenly at seeing Demeter's tension.

He turned his attention back to Demeter, who had once again shrunk down in size. She had begun fiddling with her paws. "What is it that she's doing?" he asked.

Bombalurina tapped Demeter on the shoulder, causing her to jump slightly. The gold queen moved enough so the red queen could see. "It's just a nervous habit, looks like," informed the red queen. "Not that you would know _anything_ about being nervous…"

"She seems very unstable," Macavity surmised. "Like she just might jump out of her fur, given the chance. Tell me, kitten, are you unstable?"

Realizing she was being spoken to, Demeter dug deep to find her voice, but came up with only a squeaky _mew_.

"Very flighty," he said with a tone of finality to Bombalurina. "No good use to me."

"Oh, no!" Demeter said, realizing she was missing her chance. "I-I-I-I'm really not unstable! I'm just a little nervous, is all!"

Macavity looked over to Bombalurina, unimpressed. The red queen could feel the fur on the back of her neck rise. "Um," she said, turning her attention to the gold queen. "Why are you nervous, then?"

"Well, I…don't usually hang around cats. I wasn't really let out of the house until after I turned one."

"How old are you now?"

"One and a half," she said simply.

There was silence.

Again, Macavity looked over to Bombalurina, a slightly bemused expression on his face. He then stepped close to Demeter, who did everything in her power not to take a step back. "Listen, kitten," he said. "The only thing you have going for you is your looks, which are hard to appreciate with your fur standing on end like that. What we do is not for the light of heart. Maybe you would be better joining those…what are they called again?"

"The Jellicles," Bombalurina said.

"Who-who are the Jellicles?"

Bombalurina leaned close to Demeter. "A bunch of boring cats. It's better being with Macavity, anyway."

Demeter frowned, looking to Macavity. "I'm not _boring_. And I'm not _light_ _of heart_! The other day, I caught a rat as big as I was!"

"Aw, she's so cute, Macavity," Bombalurina gushed. "She _caught a rat as big as she was_!"

"I've stifled Pekes with nothing more than the glare from my eyes," Macavity said menacingly.

Demeter's eyes darted back and forth between those of the Napoleon of Crime. "…but you didn't catch it, did you?"

Macavity's eyes widened. There was tension in the air. The ginger tail twitched, as Demeter began wringing her paws again. But the nervous spell that fell over them dissipated at the sound of chortling from the red queen. Both cats looked to her.

"I'm sorry, Macavity," Bombalurina said, smiling. "But she's got you there."

Macavity's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked back at Demeter. "I see," he said. "If you're just so brave, I have a little test I want you to go through."

"Oh," Demeter nodded. "Okay, that makes sense."

Macavity raised his paw, and for a moment, Bombalurina looked as though she were going to stop the tom from whacking the queen. But when she saw a small vial suspended on a red thread that dangled from his paws, the queen visibly calmed. "Among all the things we do, one of them involves thieves. As in, we have a lot of them, and a lot of them try to steal from _us_.

"This little bottle is in very high demand. The contents inside would be prized by any cat. _Don't bat at it_," he said sternly as she lifted the vial out of the queen's general batting area. Her kittenish side revealed, she blushed at the reprimanding look she received from Bombalurina.

"Your job," continued the tom, "is to protect it for a week, and only a week. Come back to me at the end of the week with the vial in your paws and completely intact, and I will let you join us."

"Oh!" Demeter opened her paws, waiting to accept the vial. Macavity let the vial linger over her paws before dropping it into them. She looked at it with wide eyes in wonderment. Then she felt her chin being risen up to meet his gaze.

"Don't play with it," he said menacingly.

"Yes, sir."

Then the phantom of a smirk came across his face. "She _is_ kind of cute, isn't she, Bombalurina?"

"Whatever you say, Macavity," Bombalurina said, leaning against a wall. Demeter shifted uncomfortably.

"Shame," he said. "What I'd have to do to her if she lost this vial…" Without a moment to react, Macavity turned and walked away, not bothering to look back at the queen, disappearing in the distance.

Demeter watched where the tom had vanished, her ears back, her tail tucked under. She jumped when she again felt a paw on her shoulder. The red queen was smiling kindly to her.

"I wouldn't worry too much about him," she said. "I've never seen that vial before in my life, and frankly, I doubt he even cares about what's inside it. He just wants to scare you."

Demeter relaxed a little. "Oh, good." The red queen patted the other on the back before turning and going about her business, leaving Demeter alone with her thoughts and one seemingly important vial. She lifted it up to eyelevel and squinted at the liquid substance inside. It clung to the sides of its container no matter how she turned it, oozing into place where gravity lured it. She shook it lightly, small bubbles forming, taking up any free space it could find. Shrugging, she was about to put it around her neck when…

A giggling sound. A yanking sensation. And the next thing Demeter saw were two orange tabbies racing away from her. The vial trailing behind them!

Demeter's mouth dropped. "No!" She chased after the two, but to no avail. They knew the territory far better than she did, and before she could begin to get her bearings, the two had slipped into some hiding place or other, vial and all.

The gold queen looked around helpless for anything that could help her, but she was again alone in the new territory. She sat down on the curb, holding back tears at having already failed her mission, and worrying about what horrors Macavity would bring upon her when he found out.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Soooooo tired. Nothing but STUDYING this past week! So if there are grammatical errors in this, please forgive me, or warn me of any embarrassing ones. Though I've proofread again and again, it's just no substitute for a sound, non-studied-out mind. Oh, and this was supposed to be out A LOT sooner...ah, well...real life and all..._

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**Chapter 2**

Rumpelteazer found herself swinging the vial like a pendulum, hypnotizing herself with it, while Mungojerrie looked off into the distance, deep in thought. She enjoyed watching it, her eyes following the vial's trail carefully, before realizing that her tail was tapping in the same rhythmic beating as the swinging of the vial. But, of course, once she realized this, her tail went out of sync with the vial's movements, and in a moment of panic, she began trying to again get the vial and her tail moving in conjunction with each other again by any means possible. By the time she found herself violently swinging the vial back and forth, and her tail beating frantically, she thought it was best to give up that endeavor, and instead used the vial to whack Mungojerrie on the head.

"OW!" he said, rubbing his head. "What the hell was that for?"

"What? It's the vial!" She said, throwing it down as though she were burnt by it and pointing at it in fear. "It MADE me do it!"

"Don't go tossin' that around, Teazer!" Mungojerrie quickly scooped the vial back up and held it close. "We have an assignment to do with it! How do you think Macavity would feel if we couldn't do that because the vial broke?"

"Bored, again?" Rumpelteazer shrugged.

"First of all, bored is not a _feeling_…it's a state of being. And secondly, I'm sure that wasn't the reason he gave us this assignment," Mungojerrie said noncommittally.

"Alright, oh Einstein of all kits, why did he give us this assignment?"

"Because," Mungojerrie reasoned, sitting up straight. "We've proved ourselves as the greatest thieves he's ever known. Now he wants us to prove that we can con as good as any of his cats!"

Rumpelteazer frowned. "You just repeated what he told us! That's not the real reason!"

"Well, what does it matter?" Mungojerrie asked, significantly deflating after giving his self righteous speech. "Now we have to pawn off this stupid bottle as though it were just that important, anyways. So why don't you stop playin' with it and help me try and figure out how to go about doing that?!"

Rumpelteazer made a face. "Well, _someone's_ been bitten by too many fleas lately." She made a point of letting out a long sigh before laying back down, watching the horizon. Mungojerrie seemed to be lost in thought again. The young queen looked off into the distance when she realized there was a cat she knew.

The queen turned to her male counterpart and nudged him with her paw. "Hey, Jerrie…isn't that Alonzo?" The tom's eyes shot open, catching sight of the black and gold cat as he walked hurriedly to what the two burglars could only guess to be the junkyard.

"Huh!" Mungojerrie smiled. "I haven't seen him since…well, since he joined those damn Jellicles."

"Yeah," Rumpelteazer agreed, her mind wandering to a thought that led to another, that led to another, and led to – "OF COURSE!" She shot up in her spot and beamed a smile so shiny at Mungojerrie, he had to look away. "It's so stupid of us! Macavity told us to go and try and convince someone to take this vial off our paws. Who better to try and do that with than the Jellicles?"

"They're _boring_, Teaze," he said, "Not stupid."

"I'm not saying they're stupid," Rumpelteazer said haughtily. "But we have to be just that good! And think of the bonus points we'd get with Macavity for duping a Jellicle!" Mungojerrie's ears lifted in attention towards Rumpelteazer as he considered her proposal. Then, he smiled.

-----

Admetus sat by himself, grooming, when two orange cats ran up to him, shocking him into inhaling a fur ball. "'Ello, there!" Mungojerrie said in his most chipper of voices.

"How nice to meet you on this loverly day," Rumpelteazer said, coming up to his other side.

The tom put his paws to his throat, trying to cough, but nothing coming out.

"We were just wondering," Mungojerrie continued, "If you had any use for this little bottle of Holy Water. It keeps monsters at bay, from vampires to giant cockroaches!"

Rumpelteazer nodded. "Those can be a big problem for cats. Some would think they just need employment to settle down, but we say otherwise. The cockroaches, not the vampires…" The two looked at the tom, who seemed to be struggling, his paw on wrapped around his throat. "Um…are you okay?"

"Sure, he is!" Mungojerrie said, clapping the tom hard on his back. Admetus let out a sudden loud cough, and out came a fur ball. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer stared, before exchanging a look, and the tom of the pair let out an, "ew…"

Admetus gasped for air, the two looking at him, more bemused than concerned. He then turned to the two, frowning. "What are you two trying to do?!" he screamed. "Kill me?"

"No," Rumpelteazer said. "We're trying to _protect_ you."

Admetus opened his mouth to say something, but seemed at a loss for words.

"So…" Mungojerrie said. "Are you inter--"

"NO!" Admetus picked himself up and walked off, making sounds of clearing his throat, as he tried to recover from his near death experience.

Rumpelteazer stared after him. "Sheesh, you cough up one little hairball, and the world if suddenly your enemy…" Mungojerrie nodded in agreement.

-----

Mungojerrie spotted a tom in the distance. Without a moment's hesitation, he raced up to this cat. He had never seen him before, but he was thin, and hardly seemed like a threat. He did, however, have a look of supreme knowing that made Mungojerrie reconsider for only a moment. The tom looked the tiger tabby over, before Mungojerrie greeted him with a toothy smile.

"Well, hello there, ol' chap," said the tabby.

"Who are you?" asked the tom flatly.

"I'm glad you asked that," Mungojerrie said. "My name is Mungojerrie. And you, good tom?"

"Coricopat."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Coricopat. Are you going to be happy you met me! It just so happens that today, I have on me a wonderful elixir in this tiny vial."

"Is that so," said the tom blandly.

"That's right! With this wonderful little elixir, that you only have to drink once, you could add years to your life."

"Look, Mister…"

"Mungojerrie."

"Mungojerrie," said Coricopat, as though it pained him to say the tom's name. "This isn't--"

At that moment, Rumpelteazer walked by, with an exaggerated gate, and stopped dead, looking at the vial, and gasping melodramatically. In a wooden voice, she said, "Is that what I think it is? One of those elixirs that give you everlasting life?"

Mungojerrie's smile faltered for a moment. "Um, that's not really…yes. YES! This is JUST that elixir."

"Well," Rumpelteazer said. "I'd do anything to get my paws on that!"

"Oh, I would give it to you, little queen," Mungojerrie said, before looking over to Coricopat. "But this tom had inquiries about it first."

Coricopat had a blank look on his face. After a moment of silence, he asked, "Are you kidding?" The partners weren't sure how to answer that. "I don't know what you two are planning, trying to get me to take whatever is in that vial, but the next time you try to con someone, don't pretend like you're strangers when you have the same _fur color_ and _collar_." With that, Coricopat shook his head, and headed off to any location that didn't involve orange tabbies.

Rumpelteazer growled lowly. "Hey, I'll have you know, orange tabbies are VERY common," she yelled after the tom, who paid no attention to her. "We happen to have _no relation_!!"

The queen looked over to the tom, expecting to share in his annoyance at the targeted tom, but instead was met with an annoyed glare. "What?"

"_Everlasting life_?!" Mungojerrie asked. "It's an elixir to _add years to your life_! Weren't you listening when I went over the con with you?! And what the hell was that entrance? Could you be any more obvious?"

"Hey," Rumpelteazer said, "I'm new at this, okay? And you took on a completely different persona! Just be yourself! Then you don't have to worry about keeping up that voice you got."

"What voice?"

"You had a _voice_! It was like you were speaking in sleaze."

"I did NOT have a voice!" The two cats continued to argue amongst themselves in the middle of a territory that wasn't theirs, attracting some attention. After a few words were thrown at each other, Mungojerrie huffed. "Well, maybe if I didn't have to carry you all the time—oh!"

Both cats looked over to three tiny little kittens, nothing more than balls of fluff with big eyes the better to stare at them with. Rumpelteazer cooed at the sight of them, as she hadn't seen a kitten since she was one. Mungojerrie cocked his head to the side, unsure what to make of them.

"Hewwo," said one of the kittens, a small tom with a patch over his eye.

"Hi!" Rumpelteazer squeaked. "And what's your name?"

"Tum'bwutus."

"Tum'bwutus?" Mungojerrie asked. "I don't think he's got a hang of his name yet. Pick one with an easier name." Rumpelteazer jabbed the tiger tom in the ribs.

"And your name?" she asked a little calico kitten.

"Ets-etwa," said the little queen, crawling forward to answer the question.

"Two strikes," Mungojerrie said. Rumpeleteazer frowned at the tom.

"And you?" she asked the last tom kitten, who seemed older than the other two kittens.

"Plato," said the tomlette.

"Aha, a name we can work with," Mungojerrie said triumphantly. "Hey, Plato. How are you?"

"Okay…"

"Listen…how would you like to have a vial to play with?"

"Jerrie!" Rumpelteazer put her paws on her hips. "He's just a kitten!"

"All the easier to pawn it off on him," Mungojerrie said. "So, what do you say, kit? Do you want the vial?"

"Um…"

"Take it or leave it, kit."

"MAMA!" The little kitten called, and the other two began to call for their mother as well.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Rumpelteazer said, grabbing Mungojerrie's paw and dragging him behind her.

------

Mungojerrie seemed to be scowling quite a lot, which made Rumpelteazer want to chuckle. She held it back, though, as she knew this was their reputation on the line. Still, it was funny to see her comrade in arms so upset over the inability to talk someone into taking a vial of liquid. After a few moments, she decided maybe it was best to try and comfort him.

"There, there," Rumpelteazer said, patting him on the back.

"Thanks," he said bitterly.

"Well, what are we going to do, then? We have to think of something…"

Mungojerrie looked to his comrade, then out to the junkyard. There had to be someone there desperate enough for _something_ to be able to convince them that they had exactly what they needed.

Then he heard Rumpelteazer giggling. Mungojerrie turned his scowl at her. She pointed to two cats, oblivious that the partners in crime were watching. A cat they vaguely recognized to be Mistoffelees, renowned for some reason or other in Macavity's tribe, was peering around a corner. He then ducked behind a rocking chair as a sleek looking Abyssinian queen went walking past. After the queen had passed, the tom peeked back out, smiling bashfully at the sight of the queen.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer smiled to one another. "Okay," Mungojerrie said. "But how do we get to him?"

"Just follow me," Rumpelteazer smiled thoughtfully, before racing over a junk pile and squinting over the residents of the junkyard. "Oh, there he is, there he is! Hey! Alonzo! Long time no see!!!"

-----

"A love potion?" Alonzo asked, staring at the two tabbies in amusement. "I don't think he'd much appreciate the insinuation."

"Alonzo," Rumpelteazer said, batting her eyes. "We've seen him with that queen of his. He needs something to boost his confidence." The Rum Tum Tugger - who was sitting nearby when the queen and tom came up and reintroduced themselves to their kittenhood friend - laughed to himself.

"That's true," Tugger said, grabbing the vial from the queen's paws. "So, what is this? It looks like some weird…I don't know, like what those humans have. Medicine?"

"Perish the thought," Mungojerrie said in a posh voice. He grabbed the vial back from the Rum Tum Tugger, who sneered at him. "This is a bona-fide potion! What, you think thieves don't come across a magical trinket or two?"

"Magical," Alonzo said, laughing under his breath. "Yeah, right." He then spun on his heels and raced off.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer frowned in unison. "Well," Rumpelteazer huffed. "That was rude."

"Ah, don't take it personal," the Rum Tum Tugger said, waving his paw. "He'll be back in two seconds, I'm sure. He tends to do that in middle of conversations without excusing himself first, if he needs to get somethi-- Oh, here he comes."

Alonzo came racing back up, dragging a small black and white cat behind him. Within two seconds, Mistoffelees was face to face with Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer. The two stared at the tuxedoed tom; the tuxedoed tom stared in return. "Misto," Alonzo said proudly, pointing to the two. "This is Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer. Mungo, Rumpel; Mistoffelees."

Rumpelteazer smiled widely and waved to the tom not a foot away from her. Mungojerrie just smiled awkwardly. Mistoffelees gave a shy grin back, then looked to his two fellow Jellicles. "Um," he said in a hushed voice, "Why did you bring me here?"

"He's shy," Tugger explained to the two cats. "That's why he can't get a queen."

Mistoffelees' eyes went wide, before looking to Rumpelteazer. "Um, I'm sure you're very nice and everything, but--"

"No, not her!" Mungojerrie said, standing between the tom and the queen. Rumpelteazer just giggled to herself.

"They have a plan to help you with Cassandra," Alonzo explained.

"Oh," Mistoffelees said dumbly, blushing under his fur.

"See," Tugger said, swiping the vial from Mungojerrie, "They claim that this here is a love potion. And they want to give it to you, oh Magical Mr. Mistoffelees, to help you with Cassandra."

"Magical?!" Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer said in unison, their eyes going wide. They exchanged a worried glace, ready to bolt out of the junkyard at a moments notice, perhaps to come back later for the vial. Oh, dear, they were going to be found out for sure…

"A love potion?" Mistoffelees asked, his face blank.

Silence, as the tom stared at the vial. Then…

"These things are rare!" He grabbed the vial. The two tiger tabbies breathed out in unison.

Alonzo looked pleasantly surprised, and the Rum Tum Tugger broke out into a smile. "So these things are real?" Tugger asked.

"Oh, yeah," Mistoffelees said. "I read about them in a magic book -- well, you didn't hear that from me, those things don't exist. And if the twins heard I said that, they'll kill me – but yeah, these things aren't easy to make! There's so little of it... I guess that would make sense, since you have to treat love with care, you know, since there's so—um." He blushed before getting a silly grin on his face. "Um…what would it take if I said I wanted this?"

"Oh, we're not--" Rumpelteazer began to say, but Mungojerrie cut her off.

"The left pair of three socks from each of your owner's."

Rumpelteazer looked at him questioningly. "For my collection," he whispered to the queen.

"Oh."

"I could do that," Mistoffelees said.

"Hey, wait a minute," Tugger frowned. "What makes you think I need this?"

"Shh, quiet, Tugger," the gold and black tom said. "So you're saying this could work on anyone? Like he said, there's not a lot of it…"

"It's…uh…" Mungojerrie began.

"Concentrated," Rumpelteazer finished. "Enough for the whole junkyard if used sparingly. Which is how it should be used…_sparingly_."

Alonzo smiled to himself. The Rum Tum Tugger rolled his eyes and just began to walk away. The gold and black cat waved away the tom as though to say 'good riddance', then turned back to the tiger tabbies. "It's not that we need this or anything, right Misto? M-misto? Where did he go?"

Mistoffelees came sprinting up a junk pile, then down again, a bag in his paws. "Okay," he said, slightly out of breath. "I have some socks from my owner, and some from yours, Alonzo…some from Tugger, just in case he comes around. I even grabbed some from Munkustrap, Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots, Uncle Bustober--"

Mungojerrie smiled broadly at the additions to his collection.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The vial lay between the two toms, still attached to its string. It seemed to glimmer in the mid-afternoon sun, twinkling seductively to the cats watching it, as though to say, _use me; I'm yours_.

Mistoffelees looked up to Alonzo. The black and gold tom looked back, before they both looked down at the vial again. Finally, Alonzo spoke. "So…how exactly do these things work?"

Mistoffelees twitched an ear. "Well," he said. "It depends on what _kind_ of love potion it is."

"What kind is this one?"

Mistoffelees ears went flat against his head. "I was afraid you'd ask me that…the thing is…I don't…know…"

Alonzo scowled. "Then how are we supposed to use it?!"

"Well…" Mistoffelees shrugged. "I was thinking, at first, that we could test it out. Like, put it on us, drink it - however some types of love potions intend to be used. But then I thought if it were poisonous…or an irritant…or something like that? And I was thinking that there had to be someone to ask, but we can't really ask the twins, now can we?"

The black and gold sighed. "Well…you're the one who convinced me this thing was real. So…do something with it!"

Mistoffelees pouted to himself as he stared hopelessly at the vial. It had never occurred to him that magic was just as secretive to a magical cat as it was to those who witnessed it. The most he could do was bat at it a couple of times.

"Everlasting Ca—Mistoffelees! We didn't get this vial to use as a toy! We got it to get queens!" Alonzo began batting at it to make Mistoffelees stop. "And now it doesn't seem like we're gunna get anywhere with this." By now, the two had gotten into an all out batting match, using both paws to try and lay claim to the vial. Which eventually led to batting away the other tom's paws. Which led to the two toms wrestling each other to the ground. And Alonzo, being much bigger and stronger than Mistoffelees, was effortlessly winning the wrestling match.

After pinning Mistoffelees to the ground, Alonzo smiled in victory. But then his fur began to feel prickly, and before he knew it, Alonzo's fur had puffed out as though he had gone through the clothes drier. "Misto!" said the black and gold in annoyance, before shaking his fur to try and get it back to normal. "What if a queen came by and saw me like this?"

"I think," a new male voice came from behind, "you'd have more to worry about if a queen saw you on top of Mistoffelees like that." Both toms turned to see a silver tabby pawing his way towards them.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alonzo asked, furrowing his brow. He looked to Mistoffelees for answers, but the tuxedoed tom simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Nevermind," said the tom. "What are you two fighting about?"

Mistoffelees seemed to shrink down at the presence of the silver tom. "Nothing, Munkustrap," he said, like a reprimanded kitten.

"You're not in trouble, Mistoffelees," Alonzo said, nudging his friend.

"I feel that way," Mistoffelees whispered.

Munkustrap sighed. "Mistoffelees, you're not a kitten anymore. Stop acting like one."

"Yes, sir…"

Another sigh. Then, his eyes fell to the vial the other toms had all but forgotten about. "Is that what you two were fighting over?" Munkustrap reached for the vial, but both Alonzo and Mistoffelees pounced. They both managed to reach it at the same time, but the combined force of both their paws hitting it from two different sides caused the vial to shoot forward, like a watermelon seed squeezed between two fingers, and fly through the air. It managed to hit the silver tabby on his chest, making its way to the ground. Luckily for it, Munkustrap caught it before it fell.

"Um," Mistoffelees began, stepping up to the tom in a hurry, but backing down when the silver tom turned his green eyes on the smaller cat. "That's…um…sort of…ours."

"Oh, is it?" Munkustrap said with some amusement in his voice. "I never would have figured that out if you didn't tell me."

"I hate it when he gets sarcastic," Alonzo whispered to Mistoffelees.

Munkustrap brought the vial up to his nose and sniffed it twice, a slight sneer coming across his face as he processed the information. "There are a lot of different scents coming from this," he noted. "It almost smells soapy."

"Soapy?" Alonzo asked.

"Maybe he means sappy?" Mistoffelees offered.

"Well, it smells like a whole lot of different cats, too," Munkustrap said, puzzlement coming across his face.

"You would think he was a bloodhound," Alonzo whispered to his friend, rolling his eyes.

"I heard that, Alonzo…"

"I know you did, Munkustrap." Alonzo waggled his ears to emphasize that fact.

"Can we have it back, please?" Mistoffelees asked bashfully.

Munkustrap reached out his paw to give the tom the vial, but as Mistoffelees grabbed for it, the silver tom pulled back. "Why are you two so eager to have this?" he asked, eying them suspiciously.

"No reason," they said in unison.

The silver tom looked from one cat to the other, before looking back to the vial. Alonzo held back an exasperated sigh, but somehow the tabby heard it. And, with what Alonzo thought there to be a faint trace of a playful glimmer in the otherwise serious cat's eye, the tom put the vial around his neck.

"You'll get it back when you tell me what it is," he said sternly to the two.

"Wha-Munkustrap!" Alonzo growled, wanting to rip the vial off the silver tom's neck, but knowing better than to aggravate the tribe protector. "What's with the power trip?" As though that would help his case…

"I'll be over by the oven when you're ready to tell me." And with that, the tom walked off, his tail perpendicular.

Mistoffelees looked to Alonzo, panic in his eyes. "_Alonzooo_!" was all the tuxedo managed to say.

"I know, I know. But we'll find a way to get it back. He doesn't have to know about the magic and everything." Mistoffelees didn't look too reassured.

-----

Munkustrap watched the vial as it swung rhythmically from his paws, his tail tapping in unison. Thinking it was just another kittenish game Mistoffelees was playing, like the time he kept managing to pick the correct card from the pack, the silver tom wasn't ready to let the annoyance go. If Mistoffelees wanted to get anywhere as an adult, he told himself, the tuxedo would have to start acting like one. And when he was ready to take on adult responsibilities…then, well, Munkustrap didn't know what would happen. Frankly, the thought of an adult Mistoffelees scared him, but the alternative didn't make him feel any better, either.

"Excuse me…" Munkustrap looked up to see a gold queen he had never seen before was right in front of him. His jaw dropped slightly. A year at being protector of the tribe, and he hadn't managed to see a strange cat walk right up to him?! He was really letting his guard down.

Munkustrap cleared his throat, finding himself standing up to greet the queen. "Yes?" he asked.

"Um…I don't mean to be rude," she said. "But you kind of have something of mine." Munkustrap followed her gaze to the vial.

"Oh," he said, surprised. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize…"

"Well, again…I don't mean to be rude, but I kind of need it back. Right now. Please."

Munkustrap furrowed his brow. "Why does everyone want this thing?" he asked no one in particular. The queen began tapping her foot. "Okay, okay," said the tom. "I suppose I should give you back what's rightfully--"

"Oh, _no_!" Both cats turned to see Alonzo trudging up to them. "No, no, _no_! _I_ saw the potion first, _I_ helped get it, and you go and have it for _two seconds_, and already you have queens all over you?!"

Munkustrap and the gold queen exchanged glances. They were at least a yard apart from each other…

"Alonzo…there's only one queen."

"That's _my_ potion!" Alonzo said. "And that queen should rightfully be my queen!" The tom turned to her. "I mean, technically speaking, if you came up to me when I had the potion, then…"

"I'm…not really anyone's queen…I'm just here for the bottle."

"Of course you are!" Alonzo said, throwing his paws up in the air. Then he looked to Munkustrap. "What did you do? Drink it? Put a little on you like humans do with flea medication? Right on the back of your neck so you can't lick it off?" To the queen, he said, "I always thought that was weird, didn't you?" The queen reluctantly shrugged.

"Alonzo, what are you talking about?" Munkustrap frowned. "I just put it around my neck. And what do you mean, potion?" He turned his attention to the queen. "Do you know anything about this?"

"I—No!" said the queen. She seemed worried.

"Look, Munkustrap," he said, adjusting his body position to seem more reasonable. "I really don't think you need this vial. I mean, not that I know anything about this, but I hear you're pretty handsome. From the queens, that is."

"A…Alonzo…"

"I mean, who can resist those flawless tabby markings?"

"Alonzo…please…"

"And that collar looks stunning on you!"

"Alonzo, please stop talking. Now."

"No, really," Alonzo insisted, turning to the queen. "Don't you think he's…uh…" The queen had disappeared.

"I think you scared her away," Munkustrap said. Alonzo noticed the tom seemed embarrassed for some reason. "Alonzo, what is this all about? A potion? What kind of potion is this? Why are you so keen on getting it back? What does this have to do with Mistoffelees and you? And why are you talking about fleas? Are you infested or something?"

"Well, if I was, I wish you would get infested, too," he muttered. "That'll show you…"

"What?"

"Nothing. Listen, I promised I wouldn't tell you what was in that, and frankly, I don't intend on doing that. So you should probably just give that back to me before anyone gets hurt." Alonzo held out his paw. Munkustrap narrowed his eyes at the other.

-----

"And that's why we were fighting over it earlier." Alonzo had completely lost the fight with Munkustrap. It was no contest, really, as the black and gold never expected the silver tom to turn on him so quickly. So now, with Munkustrap sitting on Alonzo's back, it was hard not to tell everything that had happened. His arm was pinned painfully against his back, twisted just enough to make sure the truth was all that come out, lest he lose an arm.

"Then who was the queen?" Munkustrap asked. "She said the vial was hers."

"I don't know!" Alonzo cried as Munkustrap adjusted himself, accidentally driving his knee into the other tom's ribs. "Mungo and Rumpel probably stole it from her or something! She's probably a witch's cat! Stop hurting me! Please!"

"Sorry," Munkustrap said, before getting off the tom. Alonzo slowly began getting up, rubbing his sore back and ribs, trying hard not to show the tribe protector he was in pain. After the tom managed to collect himself, Munkustrap decided to dishevel him once again.

"Are you two insane?" he asked. Alonzo's ears fell against his head. "Taking something from strangers? What if it had been poison and you drank it? Do you really think that a love potion could exist? And what is all this about magic? What are you trying to say about Mistoffelees, that he's magical or something? You're doing nothing but encouraging him to continue being the way he is! You're supposed to be more responsible than that, Alonzo. Now go back there and fix the mess you helped start!"

"How?" Alonzo said, lifting up his head in defiance to the other tom.

"By telling him there is no such thing as magic. By helping him grow up! By giving this thing back to the queen, and saying you're sorry. And by never speaking to these cat burglars again!"

Alonzo let out a reluctant sigh. "Whatever you say, Munkustrap."

Munkustrap nodded, seeming surprised how easy that had been, and gave the vial back to Alonzo. "I trust you'll make everything right."

"I will, I will," Alonzo assured him. With a quick, sullen glimpse at the vial, he nodded his head to Munkustrap and walked off.

The _nerve of him_. Treating him like a kitten. Alonzo was only a little younger than Munkustrap, and while he wasn't as mature as the silver tom, he never in his wildest dreams wished to be. He wasn't even sure Munkustrap _had_ wild dreams. He probably just dreamed of grey plaid or something. Or even that would be too far fetched for the silver tom! And Munkustrap certainly didn't understand anything about Mistoffelees' magic. Only the Rum Tum Tugger and he knew about it. And maybe his little sister, Victoria, but she was too young to know it was an oddity. The others would probably be scared of it, though.

Seeing Mistoffelees' den in the distance, Alonzo took a deep breath. He looked at the vial, not sure what to think anymore: whether magic existed or not, or to believe in what Mistoffelees had to say. But upon entering the den, he saw Mistoffelees' hopeful face looking over to him. He bit his lip, then managed to smile cheerfully. "I got it back," he announced as the tuxedoed tom came up to him.

"That's great!" Mistoffelees said, taking the vial in his paw delicately. Then his smile fell. "What did he say? You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No, no, everything is alright. And I think I figured out how to get it to work." He went quiet when he realized there was another cat in the den. Another tuxedoed tom, to be exact, and a rotund one at that.

"Uncle Bustopher," he said, addressing the tom. "This is my friend, Alonzo. You've met him once, remember? At the Jellicle Ball?" The magical cat looked over to his friend, wondering if recognition would dawn on either of their faces.

Alonzo looked shocked. "Oh, right!" he said, straightening up. "Mistoffelees was putting on a show for you, I think. The other cats didn't know it was…" He looked over to the magical cat, wondering if he should finish his sentence.

"It's alright," Mistoffelees said. "He knows. He _is_ my uncle, after all."

Alonzo smiled bashfully. "The others didn't know it was magic."

"Yes, I remember you," said the older tom, smiling blithely. "Well, don't mind me if you have something to tell him. I'm only here for a visit."

Alonzo couldn't help but feel guilty that he had interrupted a family moment. Mistoffelees seemed to prize his family so much, and here comes the black and gold stray, intruding on a meeting with his family.

"Alonzo," Mistoffelees urged.

"Right…" Alonzo cleared his throat and tried to focus. "You put it around your neck. That's how Munkustrap…_kind of_ got it to work." Alonzo was about to put it around the other tom's neck for him, but Mistoffelees began to back away. Alonzo furrowed his brow at the tom.

"It's just…" he began. "Don't you think it's a little…cruel? Doing that to Cassandra? I mean, these things can be powerful. And I don't think I'd want her to fall for me that way, anyway."

Alonzo frowned, before looking past the tom and to the cat in the corner. "This is your doing, isn't it, Bustopher?" The older tom laughed heartily at the insinuation. The black and gold licked his lips, thinking of how to go about this. He then excused himself from Bustopher Jones' presence, put down the potion, and dragged Mistoffelees outside the den.

"Listen to me," began the black and gold. "You've been waiting to have a chance with Cassandra. At least this will give you an opening. An icebreaker, if you will!"

"It's not an icebreaker if she's all over me!"

"Who says she'll be all over you?!" Alonzo went quiet as Mistoffelees looked past him. Turning around, he saw Bustopher Jones making his way out of the den.

"I've come at a bad time," he said, smiling apologetically to the two. "I'll go see Victoria, and come back to see you later."

Both Alonzo and Mistoffelees smiled sheepishly as they bowed their heads slightly to him. Bustopher Jones waddled off, as the two waited for him to wander out of earshot. Then, they looked back to one another.

"Okay," Alonzo said. "Your uncle will never think of me the same way again."

"Or me," Mistoffelees said, giving Alonzo an accusing look.

"Just give it a chance, Misto," pleaded the friend. "If anyone can control magic, it's you. And it's not like you couldn't get rid of the potion with the wave of a paw if you didn't like the way it worked!"

"Mm, I don't know." Alonzo gave him a _you're not getting away with a 'no'_ look, and Mistoffelees sighed. "Fine."

Alonzo smiled, racing back in for the potion. After a few seconds, Alonzo popped back out, his eyes wide, and certainly his face had gone pale under his fur. "Mistoffelees…where's the potion?"


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hehe...life got in the way of my update for this. Anyways, here it is! And hopefully, Bustob--pher is spelled correctly! Bustopher, pher, pher...like gopher... (chants rhythmically to herself) How many times have I looked at the name and still spelled it wrong?! (rant continues...) Oh, and by the by, just so we're clear, these pairings are more from what I've read from other people's Cats theatre experience and my own, in case anyone was confused! ((smile))_

* * *

Chapter 4

Bustopher made his way to one of his favorite clubs on St. Jame's Street, the _Stage and Screen_. He had heard that the winkles and shrimp were particularly robust this time of year, and he wanted to be sure to take advantage of that. As he walked, a little vial around his neck swayed along with the movements of his - for lack of a better word - waddle.

When he walked around the corner, to the back of the club, where many of the local cats would gather to take advantage of the human's affinity for seafood, he was surprised to see there were quite a few cats more than usual.

Word must have gotten out about the winkles…

Any other day, Bustopher Jones would have been livid that he would be left with whatever measly pickings were left for him - especially considering how much business he drew up for the place by simply his reputation as a food aficionado - but given the circumstances of the day, he would gladly give up a meal for a chance to…well…

The thing was, while the place was crawling with _cats_, a good percent of them were _queens_. While he didn't often have trouble with queens, he had had a lull in recent weeks, and didn't mind another chance to get back in the game, with a little _help_ on the side. Sure, it was bad form to steal from family, but he figured in the end Mistoffelees _owed_ him. All those days kitten-sitting a magical kitten was not easy. And he had small badger-looking ears to prove it…

One of the queens who helped organize the alley to as close to a restaurant as a cat could get turned to see Bustopher Jones. She smiled dearly, putting her paws on her hips. "Mr. Jones," she said, a flirtatious smile on her face. "I don't think I've seen you around here in a while!"

_Well, that was quick_!

"My dear Exotica," he said, walking up to and putting an arm around her as he led her to his favorite sitting area. "Tell me, how have you been?"

------

Bombalurina walked down the street, her tail twitching in some annoyance. She was in a bad mood for no particular reason.

Okay, maybe there _was_ a reason.

All her time spent working for Macavity, and the tom didn't appreciate her in the least. Stealing for him, lying for him, sneaking around for him, and seducing toms into working for him, and the tom still acted like Bombalurina was _expendable_. It was enough to make any queen think about leaving him!

…_Think_ being the operative word there. He was still an alluring cat, no matter what.

Bombalurina stepped up to the _Stage and Screen_, hoping the rumors about their famous winkles and shrimp wasn't a lie. Upon entering the alleyway, she walked mindlessly up to the water bowl the humans left out for the cats, and took a sip.

She grimaced for a second, as the odd taste filled her mouth. It must have been spiked with something…Scotch? So she took another sip just to make sure. And another for further confirmation. It was when she realized she was guzzling, that she decided it was best to stop tasting for verification's sake, and start asking.

She turned to a tom nearby. "Excuse me?" she asked. The tom turned, looking stunned such a beautiful queen would be talking to him. "Do you know if a cat named Skimbleshanks has been here?"

The tom just stared, drooling.

"Skim-ble-skanks," she asked again, slowly. "He sometimes wears a little vest. Sneaks drops of scotch in his tea when he thinks no one is looking." Still, he stared. "Because I think this-this…you're not paying attention to a word I'm saying, are you?" There wasn't so much an answer, as a garbled 'Buh-gyuh?' in response. Bombalurina scoffed. "Toms…"

That's when she heard a giggling behind her. The red queen turned to see a sleek Abyssinian.

"Skimbleshanks hasn't been here," she said with a graceful smile. "How do you know him?"

"How could I not?" Bombalurina shrugged. "My owner is the stationmaster. All that talk about this _great little orange cat who always comes around the train_, and I had to see what had him more infatuated with another cat than me!"

The queen nodded, keeping her graceful smile on her face. "Skimbleshanks seems to get along with everyone, doesn't he?" She reached out a paw in greeting. "I'm Cassandra."

"Bombalurina," said the red queen absentmindedly, not bothering to touch paws with the stranger. She wasn't used to talking with other queens. "I'm gunna drink some more scotch-water over here," she said, hoping to rid herself of a potential new acquaintance. And she thought it had worked, as she managed to down a little more before feeling a little sick to her stomach, and somewhat lightheaded. She reached out to steady herself, and found the friendly Abyssinian reached out a paw to help her.

"It seems Bustopher is at it again," Cassandra said, looking over to a group of queens surrounding a rather fat cat in a coat of fastidious black.

The red queen let out a sigh. Why did this queen insist on talking to her? Bombalurina was hoping to allow her hatred for Macavity to ferment some more. Though…something _was_ a little odd. This tom didn't seem to be all that wonderful.

Then she noticed something around his neck. "That looks familiar," Bombalurina muttered to herself.

"Well, its pretty commonplace around here," Cassandra said, making her way over to the cat in question.

'No, not that, you twit,' Bombalurina would have liked to say. But she thought it best not to mix tainted water and harsh language with a cat she didn't even know. Anyway, while she still had her wits about her, she thought it best to not upset the queen. She looked dainty, that was for sure, but the Abyssinian had a sway in her step that led the red queen to believe she knew some form of karate.

It was probably just the scotch talking, though. Bombalurina could never hold her liquor. (No cat was really meant to…)

Bombalurina made her way over to the crowd of queens, picking up the story he was telling as she got closer. "…and then he turns around and tells my story as though it were his, and now _he's_ known as the theatre cat!" The other queens smiled, some laughing. They were probably boozed up…

"Why is that funny?" she asked, perhaps a little too loudly, to a dark brown queen near her she had met before, named Exotica.

"It's Bustopher Jones," she said, as though that should answer all Bombalurina's questions. At the confused look on the red queen's face, the other explained. "Asparagus is known as the theatre cat, and Bustopher is known for—oh, you know, you would just have to know him to get it."

Bombalurina found herself laughing a little. It seemed to her Exotica didn't know, either.

"And who is this?" All the queens turned to look at Bombalurina, much to her shock. It was like something out of a scary movie. Slowly, the red queen looked up to see that Bustopher Jones had been addressing her.

"This is Bombalurina," Cassandra said, leading the queen forward with a wave of her paw. The other queens backed away, or went about their business. Bombalurina had the stray thought that the fat cat might just do away with her…

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bombalurina," said the tom graciously, and the queen instantly was put at ease. Then her eyes went down to a vial around the tom's neck.

"I'm sorry," she said, "But that looks very familiar. Can I just…take a look at it?"

The tom looked down at his chest, and regarded the rose on his lapel. "Why, it's called a rose," the round cat said. "Humans grow them in their garden for aesthetic purposes. You've probably seen them in gardens and hardly given them a notice, but it turns out they have a big significance to humans."

"Oh, that's not what I--"

"You see," he went on, not used to being interrupted in the middle of a speech. "Humans give them to one another, and depending on the color, it can mean anything from friendship to love."

Cassandra smiled, her eyes twinkling at the thought. "And what does a red rose mean?"

"A red rose, my dear, means love." He took the rose off his lapel and handed it to Bombalurina.

"Fascinating," Bombalurina said tersely, snatching the rose in her paws. "Um, I was actually asking about the thing around your neck." She looked at the rose in her paws, before the words he had said set into her slightly slowed down mind. "Wait, love?"

"It's a token of affection," said the tom. Bombalurina looked at the rose. "It's a beautiful color, isn't it? Not unlike your fur color. You know, to humans, red means love and _passion_. Your human must _cherish_ you as much as he would any delicate rose."

Bombalurina looked back up to him, wondering how she could ever be so shallow as to simply call him a fat cat, without getting to know him. "I think that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." She looked to the queens nearby. It suddenly made sense. "Do you mind if I sit here…"

"By all means, do," he offered. Bombalurina looked ready to fight for a seat.

All the while, Cassandra was leaning in close, looking at the thing around the neck of the fat cat. "What _is _that thing, anyway?"

Bustopher Jones took a look at all the queens surrounding him, before leaning very close to the queen and whispering in her ear. "Have you ever heard of a _love_ potion?"

Cassandra let out a small laugh. "Those don't exist, Bustopher." With a sweep of his paw, he demonstrated to the Abyssinian his sudden popularity.

"It wasn't like this last week," he said, a knowing smile on his face.

Cassandra laughed uneasily, looking away. There _were_ a lot of queens around him. She cleared her throat. "Where did you get it," she asked, hoping not to sound too desperate.

"Well," he said, watching Cassandra carefully, "That shouldn't matter. What matters now is, if you ask me politely, I will let you borrow it."

The queen's pale blue eyes went wide as Bustopher Jones took the vial from around his neck and handed it to Cassandra. "Oh, but you're using it, Bustopher!"

"I think I've used it up for now," he said, glancing at the queens mulling around him. "Go on, use it wisely, dear."

Cassandra broke into a wide smile, uncharacteristic of her to show any elation, and gladly took the vial, putting it around her neck. With a knowing smile to Bustopher Jones, she made her way out of the alleyway gracefully.

Bombalurina walked up to Bustopher Jones again, clutching the rose close to her. "There was something else I was going to ask you," she said, become somewhat lucid again. "But I can't remember what."

"Then it must not have been important, little rose. Now, have I told you all about the curry at the _Siamese_?"

---------

Cassandra stood at the junkyard entrance. It wasn't something she would normally do, entering a junkyard - not a purebred queen like her. But the cats had been so nice to her. And as though that weren't enough, there was a tom she was interested in, though she didn't know _why_. Something about him attracted her to him, but she never liked being straightforward in addressing toms. Well, at least not _too_ straightforward. The frequent brushing up against a tom shouldn't have been too straightforward…right?

And she had given him these signs! A gentle caressing of the shoulder, or rubbing up against him as is a cat's way, and even taking to dancing in front of him during Jellicle Balls and gatherings – but the tom was oblivious.

But _now_. Now that she had a potion, she could certainly attract him, without all the unnecessary "_subtleties"_. He would, hopefully, fall helplessly into her arms. And then she would have her way with him…or so she would like to dream.

Something about this should have been bad. She should have felt guilty about intoxicating him with a potion or magic. But the idea of finally getting what she wanted? _Screw morality_!

Taking a few deep breaths, she grasped the vial and walked valiantly into the junkyard. She made sure to steer clear of other toms if she saw them in the distance. The last thing she needed was Coricopat falling head over heels for her. She would not have liked to see _that_. But she kept her focus, using her general understanding of the layout of the junkyard, until…

He was right there, lying in his usual spot, near his den. Cassandra smiled gingerly and walked up to him in that deliberate way she does.

"Hello, Mistoffelees," she said.

The tom opened his eyes, then opened them wider in shock. "Cassandra!" he said, instantly standing up. "Hi! What are you doing here?"

"I was just passing by, and I thought I'd say hello," she said, swaying her tail back and forth slowly.

"You're not here to see anyone?" he asked, surprised.

"A queen can't walk in the junkyard at dusk, and greet old friends?"

Mistoffelees looked as though he were ready to run. Cassandra's smile began to fall as she realized the love potion wasn't working. Lowering her eyes to the ground, she gently shook the vial around her neck, hoping that whatever magic it had just needed to be stirred.

"Hey," Mistoffelees said, his tone changing. "Isn't that—Er, I mean…that's a pretty little collar you have on there, Cassandra."

The queen seemed a little puzzled, amazed at how quickly the potion took effect. "Oh, yes," she said. "I borrowed it from your Uncle. How does it look?"

Mistoffelees eyes seemed fixed on the vial, making Cassandra wonder exactly how it was supposed to work. Maybe that was just the way the potion did it's magic - attracting a cat's attention to it, before to the cat who was wearing it. That red queen seemed to have the same thing happen to her…

Slowly, a smile spread across Mistoffelees' face, and he seemed to be blushing under his fur. His ears fell back a bit, as he lowered his gaze. Cassandra tilted her head a bit, trying to fix his gaze to hers, and to her astonishment, the tom worked up the courage to look her in the eyes. "You-you-you know, your eyes," he began, though having much difficulty. "They're…I've always thought they were pretty."

Cassandra gave a bashful smile, feeling like a kitten again. "Thank you, Mistoffelees."

"You can call me Misto. Only if you want, that is! I mean, you don't have to call me Misto if you don't want to - I mean, Mistoffelees is fine. I like the way you say Mistoffelees. Not that it's any different coming from anyone else, it's just, when you say it, you know?" The tom laughed nervously. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

The queen could just hug him for being so flustered. "It makes perfect sense. When someone you like says your name, it sounds so much better."

Mistoffelees seemed to stop breathing. Cassandra could concur. She hadn't meant to confess she liked him before he said he liked her. But she tried to keep her cool about it. "Mistoffelees? I was wondering if perhaps you wanted to take a walk with me tonight? It will be nice, under the moonlight, and I know this beautiful place where – _Mistoffelees, you can breath now!!!_"

The tom let out a shaky breath, nodding to the queen. She just laughed to herself and turned, leading the way. Mistoffelees was walking along side her, both rather rigid in their stance.

Cassandra could see Mistoffelees' paw twitch out of the side of her eye. She then saw him reach for her paw, but back away. She sighed inwardly. But then, he seemed to lay his eyes on the vial around her neck again, and after taking a deep breath, reached out his paw again. Cassandra tried not to smile as she waited for it. Then, the shy tom gently clasped her paw.

The Abyssinian smiled to him, as they walked paw in paw.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Sorry for lack of updating. My life took a tailspin. I actually have yet to pull up from said tailspin, but in the hopes that things will get less stressful, and I'll once again have purpose in life, I did the only thing I know how to do well: write. And rewrite...and rewrite. This chapter actually went through a bit of reworking, and I think I can finally let it be and let you all enjoy it! It's longer than I first intended, but if you've stayed with the story this long, I really don't think you would mind, heh. So, I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Alonzo walked about the junkyard, as the sun was just coming up. The night had proved uneventful for him, and though he managed to catch a mouse, he wasn't really hungry. So he named it Squeakers and let it go. It was quite a sight, watching it run off towards the setting moon, and Alonzo could almost hear the climactic music building as the mouse disappeared around the corner. But then it was gone, and Alonzo could do nothing more than wipe a tear from his eye and return to the junkyard. And then he was bored.

Until he heard a giggle.

Alonzo's ears perked up at the sound. It was not something usually heard around the junkyard, considering how few queens actually belonged to the Jellicle tribe at the time were capable of forming a giggle, so the tom was curious. He peered around the corner to see Cassandra being helped down from a pile of junk by Mr. Mistoffelees.

…_Mistoffelees_?!

"You Pollicle," Alonzo whispered, smiling at the sight of the shy tom finally interacting with the queen. And interacting WELL, it seemed, as Cassandra fell forward slightly, and Mistoffelees caught her by the hips, before lifting her down. Alonzo was sure he didn't recognize this tom, until he saw the severely embarrassed look on Mistoffelees' face.

Then Alonzo noticed that Cassandra was wearing something that looked very familiar around her neck. Alonzo's jaw dropped, and he could only begin to wonder how Cassandra, of all cats, got possession of the love potion. But his thoughts were interrupted when the scene before him became more interesting.

"Thank you," Cassandra said graciously.

"You're welcome," Mistoffelees said bashfully.

"I had a wonderful time," Cassandra said, inching towards the tom's den.

"Oh, no, I did, too," Mistoffelees said quickly, walking alongside Cassandra. The poor magical tom had no idea what he had in store for him…

"I was wondering," Cassandra said, cocking her head to the side, "we were up all night, and I'm a little tired from all that walking we did. You know, a queen needs her catnap and whatnot…"

"Hmm?" Mistoffelees furrowed his brow. Cassandra took Mistoffelees by the paw and led her close to the entrance of his den.

"My home is so far away, and I don't want to walk back to it yet," she said.

"Oh," Mistoffelees said. "So, what are you going to do? You don't have a den here."

Cassandra caught her disappointed sigh before it made itself known.

"Uh, yes, that's right," Cassandra said. She looked off to the side, as though deep in thought. "But what can I do about that? Hmm…I guess I could just sleep in the hot morning sun. But, you have dark fur, you know what that's like."

"Yeah," Mistoffelees said in agreement. He looked around, trying to find a solution. Then his eyes caught his den. "Oh! Of course, do you want to sleep in my den for the morning?" he asked politely.

"Yes!" Cassandra said, almost too eagerly, sounding a tad desperate. "Yes, that's a good idea." She turned to enter the den, her tail swishing back and forth seductively. Once inside, Mistoffelees remained outside, seemingly unsure of what to do.

A moment passed.

Then Cassandra poked her head back out. "Um…aren't you coming in?"

"Huh?" Mistoffelees said, blushing under his fur. "Oh, I was just going to let you sleep. I didn't want to disturb you."

"No, no, Mistoffelees. I don't think you understand. I _want_ to be disturbed!" Cassandra said a little tersely.

"You do?" Mistoffelees asked. "But that would defeat the purpose of a catnap!"

Cassandra sighed, before coming back out of the den. "Mistoffelees," she said, grinning to him, taking his paw. "Would you like to join me?"

"Join you?!"

Cassandra leaned close, and whispered, "Just say _yes_," before pulling the tom into his own den, as he let out a squeak of surprise.

Alonzo clapped his paw over his mouth. He didn't know the queen had it in her! Or how Mistoffelees would react to such a…suggestion.

It probably would have been inappropriate to stay around…

…yeah, it would have been inappropriate, and Alonzo decided it was best to leave. That is, until the vial was thrown out of the den in what Alonzo was sure was a fit of passion.

Alonzo stared as the vial came to rest on the ground, the midmorning sun making it glimmer. And then it just lay there, bored and in want of something more to do. A challenge Alonzo would be _happy_ to help it with.

Alonzo looked over to the den, then over to the vial; they were so close together. He could probably sneak over there and out without being noticed…or noticing too much.

The tom's tail lashed back and forth as he prepared to race across the gap. He stretched, making sure to shaking out his paws, so he was nice and limber for the task he was about to take on. He breathed in, then out. Okay…

Alonzo bolted forward, reaching out his paw to scoop up the vial and run off with it unnoticed, when—

There was a loud yelp of surprise from inside the den. Alonzo lost his nerve, turned, and raced back to his hiding spot. Once there, he was glad he had made that decision. Mistoffelees was backing quickly out of his den, his fur all over the place, his eyes wide. "Cassandra!" he said in shock, once safely out of the queens grasp.

Cassandra poked her top half out of the den, laying her paws in front of her, and stretching out. Then she innocently fell to her side, and gave a beautiful pout. "What?" she asked.

"Don't you think you're going a little fast?" he said, fixing his little bow tie collar and grooming his fur while he kept a steadfast eye on Cassandra.

"Mmm…no," Cassandra said, now sitting upright, looking at Mistoffelees curiously.

"Well, I do!"

Cassandra frowned. "Mistoffelees…haven't we known each other for a while?"

"…well, yeah, but--"

"And haven't you had feelings for me for a while, and I you? Didn't we start talking about that last night? Mistoffelees?"

"…yeah."

"So then, what's stopping you?" she asked. "Do you not like me anymore? Did last night portray me in a different light to you?"

"No, Cassie," he said, looking cornered. "That's not it at all! It's just…well…I'm new to all this."

"Well, who better to show you these things than me?"

"Um…"

"…That wasn't supposed to be a hard question, Mistoffelees."

"Cassandra, I didn't mean it that way!" But the queen seemed to have had enough with this tom. She let out a sad sigh, and picked herself up.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable, Mistoffelees," she said sadly as she walked off.

Mistoffelees looked desperate to run after her, but instead resigned to biting his lip, and sitting on his haunches, as he watched the queen walk off. Alonzo thought he should leave the tom alone. Then he noticed…Mistoffelees was sitting on the vial.

Alonzo cursed to himself. He looked to Mistoffelees, back to where Cassandra had gone, then back over to the tom and the vial he was sitting on. He weighed the consequences in his mind. Then finally, with a steadfast nod, walked out solemnly to the tom….

Mistoffelees seemed too dazed to notice Alonzo fast approaching him. The black and gold sat next to the tuxedoed tom, took in a deep breath, and sighed. He then put a paw on Mistoffelees' shoulder. The tom snapped back into the present, looking surprised.

Alonzo shook his head. "So, not the best ending to your evening, huh?"

Mistoffelees frowned. "Were you spying on me?"

"Not on purpose," Alonzo admitted. "I came to…uh…check on you, and you were here with Cassandra."

Mistoffelees blushed. "How much of that did you see?"

"Every last bit of it," Alonzo said. At the horrified look on Mistoffelees' face, he changed his answer to, "I mean, _nothing_ _at_ _all_. In fact, I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Very convincing."

"Look," Alonzo said, his eyes quickly glancing at the vial the tom was sitting on, then back up at the tuxedo. "You're going to have to talk to her. Work out your problems."

The magical cat sighed. "Don't you think I should give her some time before I do that?"

"Nah," Alonzo said. "You should get back in her good graces as soon as possible." He looked down at the vial. "Soon."

"But I'm sure she doesn't feel too good about how things panned out. Maybe I should--"

"Take it from a cat who knows," Alonzo said, putting his paw to his chest in a measure of sincerity. "She will love you for chasing after her! Now, go on!" He took a paw and physically tried to push him off the vial in the guise of giving him courage.

"Well, I don't--"

"For the love of all things tuna, Mistoffelees," Alonzo yelled. "Just go after her! How much time do you want to waste and let her get angrier?"

Mistoffelees seemed both shocked and convinced by his friend's urgency. "Okay, okay! I don't know what I'm going to say, but okay!" The tuxedoed tom picked up and started walking to where Cassandra had been gone. Alonzo smiled down at the vial as he would any prey he had freshly killed.

With a big show, he picked up the vial and held it up to eye level, grinning menacingly at it. Then, just as he was going to put it around his neck…

"I'm going to need this for courage!" Mistoffelees appear out of nowhere, snatched the vial from the tom's paws, threw it over his neck, and trotted off to find Cassandra.

Alonzo growled lowly. But he let the tom go. He was, after all, the reason they had the vial to begin with.

------

Alonzo walked sullenly on the streets, kicking a rock as he walked along. He would have really liked to use that potion eventually! He was getting lonely just thinking about it.

The rock hit against the tire of a car, and Alonzo looked at his distorted reflection of the hubcap. Yech. No wonder no queen wanted him. His fur was so scruffy, he had such unusual colors for a tom, and those plain amber eyes of his were so last season - green eyes were the new amber. He had no human home, he lived in a junkyard, and he was scrambling just to get some status in the little tribe he was in. Everyone else seemed to have something about them! Tugger was the sexy one, Munkustrap was in charge, Mistoffelees was, well, magical, though he hadn't actually told anyone this yet, and Cassandra was the only queen their age that was _officially_ in the tribe, that gave her instant status! The kittens would get a place in the tribe before he did!

Alonzo did his best to give a toothy smile, look charming, debonaire, dashing. Of course, the distorted figure staring back at him did little to boost his confidence. He took a moment to groom his gold and black fur. Yet, somehow, it came out more raggedy than before! Alonzo growled lowly to himself.

Well, without the vial, he could at least try to _be_ something. What did he want to depend on a love potion for? He had charisma and charm in there…somewhere! So with that little pep-talk, Alonzo puffed out his chest, held his head high, and did the only type of walk he could do in such a position – strut.

After two seconds on this, he thought he looked ridiculous, and deflated his puffed out chest with a sigh. Then his ears perked up. It sounded like someone was crying. Curious, the tom went searching for the noise. He then saw a gold queen crying on the curb, not bothering to hide her tears. Alonzo's ears fell back against his head. He never knew how to react when a queen cried. Awkwardly he came up to the little cat, who was using her tail to blow her nose in. Alonzo grimaced, but pretended he didn't notice. "Um…are you okay?"

"_Of course_ I'm not okay!" the queen screamed, coming out of her curled and crying position so quickly, Alonzo jumped back and fell off the curb. But the queen hardly noticed. "I'm going to be in _so much_ trouble!"

Picking himself up and brushing off the dust of the street, the tom took a moment to look the queen over. To which she did the same. They stared for a moment. Then the queen pointed at Alonzo. "You look very famili-OH! You're the tom from the junkyard!" She jumped up to her feet. "You have my bottle!"

Alonzo would have answered, but he was at a loss for words, and only managed a, "Wha…?"

"The bottle!" she said, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes, though her face was matted from having cried so much. "You and your tom friend were having a fight or something."

"He—wait! What? Tom friend? What makes you think _Munkustrap_ is my tom friend?" Alonzo said defensively. Then he groaned. (Wrong word to emphasize.) "I mean, I don't _have_ a tom friend! I'm not that kind of tom!"

"Please, may I have the bottle back? Please?" she asked, coming right up to the tom, making him suddenly feel uncomfortable. She was _very_ close to him. And her eyes were large and vibrant, from having cried so much. Large eyes staring up at him made him feel that same protective feeling he got with the Jellicle kittens. Alonzo took in a deep breath.

"Look, I don't have it on me right now," Alonzo said. The queen swatted him on the shoulder. "Ow…"

"Liar," she said, glaring at the tom. "Either you have it or that other cat does, and he's slightly frightening."

"Oh, so you'd rather hit me?" he asked, rubbing the spot where the queen had hit him. It didn't hurt at all, but hopefully the queen would feel guilty and not venture to hit him again.

And it worked. She didn't hit him.

She kicked him in the shins instead.

"Ow!" Alonzo said, backing away from the once innocent looking queen. "What was that for?"

"I just want my bottle back," she said, bursting into tears. _She_ was crying after hitting _him_?

"Holy catnip," Alonzo muttered, rubbing his shin, which was now in quite a bit of pain. "Can't you wait until tonight? My friend is using it right now."

"Using it?" she asked, sniffling.

"Yeah. It's not like you need it anyway. You're young, cute…well, when you're not smacking toms around. And you don't seem to lack any confidence to race right up to a tom and _kick his shins in_! You know, this still hurts!" He pointed to his leg.

"It's my responsibility to protect the bottle, no matter what," the queen said adamantly. "And Macavity is a lot scarier and has far less kickable shins than you do!

"Wait," Alonzo said, suddenly becoming very serious. The queen bowed her head slightly, as though scared he would do something to her. "You work for Macavity?"

"I'm supposed to be," she said, too afraid to do anything but stand stiffly, holding her ground. "I'm supposed to hold onto the bottle for him for a week, but then those two cats stole it from me, and then that one cat had it, then you had it, and—it's just like he said! Everyone wants it!" The queen tried to choke back tears, and began hiccupping.

"Okay, calm down, calm down," Alonzo said, feeling sorry for the semi-violent queen. "He has you holding onto the vial for a week as though it's your responsibility? What, did he steal it from Cupid or something?"

"Huh?" the queen asked. "No, my name is Demeter."

"That's not what I was asking…but I wasn't completely off," he mused.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, just a mythical reference. SO! You need the vial back that bad, huh? Aw, you don't have to cry anymore. No, really, I mean it, stop. I can't handle the crying." The queen bit her lip in an attempt to stop. "I'll just pop back to the junkyard and get it for you, okay?" He gave an overenthusiastic smiled.

"You're scaring me." He stopped smiling.

"Ahem… look, if I knew that Mungo and Rumple had stolen it from you, I would have given it back the first time I met you. But, I mean, come on…how often do you come across a love potion?"

Demeter looked up at Alonzo, eyes wide. "A love potion?!"

"Yeah," he said, furrowing his brow. "Didn't you know what you were looking after?"

"No!" she said, wringing her paws. "I had no idea! They just told me to—A love potion, really?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Alonzo. "How does it work?"

"You have to be wearing it," he said nonchalantly. Demeter seemed relieved, nodding her head. Then Alonzo gave her a look. "You didn't think I was using it on you, did you?"

"Well, you never know," Demeter said, turning her face away from the tom.

"And what, you fell hopelessly in love with me the moment you saw me?" Alonzo asked sarcastically. "And the passion was so great, that you had to _kick me in the shin_?"

"That's how I show my affection," Demeter defended, giving him the same sarcastic look. "Anyway…can you please bring it back to me? Without wearing it? Please?"

"Sure," Alonzo said, nodding his head in defeat. He would never get to use the damned thing. "I'll just go get it from Mistoffelees."

"Who's Mistoffelees?" Demeter asked. "The one who stole it from me or the one who had it when I first came to that place of yours?"

"No, no," Alonzo said. "Mungojerrie was the tom who stole it from you, and Munkustrap was the one who had it, but he doesn't believe in magic. Mistoffelees is my friend who wanted to use it on a queen."

"Ah…too many M's…" She looked up to Alonzo. "And what's your name? Does it start with an M, too?"

"No." He smiled. "It's Alonzo."

"Okay," she said, looking about nervously. "I don't mean to be a pain, Mr. Alonzo, but…I want the bottle back as soon as possible."

"_Mr. Alonzo_?" he asked. Sheesh, how old was this queen? "I'll bring you back the vial, just…never call me that again."

"Okay," she said, nodding in agreement. And with that, the tom turned tail and raced back to the junkyard.

-----

Demeter walked back and forth, looking up at the sky, while wringing her tail in her paws. Every now and then, she hopped up and down, hoping to expend the energy from her anxiety. All she had wanted was to impress Macavity, to get his attention, and now, she was running around the city, looking for a stupid bottle that supposedly had a love potion in it.

Then, for a moment, she mused how it would be if she used the love potion on someone. Say, Macavity, for instance. Make him fall head over heels in love with her…

…Then again, that image frightened her, and she shook her head of that thought.

"Ahem," said a female voice behind her. Demeter turned to see a white cat standing there, her voluminous fur making her quite a presence. "Hello, little one." She smiled cunningly.

"Hello," Demeter said. Having never had a reason to fear queens, she gave her a quick smile, and turned around, continuing on her pacing.

"Ahem." Demeter turned again, seeing the queen was much closer to her now. "I've heard tell that you're supposed to be guarding quite the little secret..." Demeter's eyes widened.

------

Cassandra sat next to Mistoffelees, her lips tightly sealed. The tom was on his side in a submissive pose, carefully batting his paw at Cassandra's whiskers. "Please listen to me, Cassie," he said, giving a pout.

"No," Cassandra said, turning her head away.

"Aw, but you want to hear what I have to say," Mistoffelees said, smiling gingerly. "Otherwise you would have gotten up and moved."

"I just don't want to be displaced by you," Cassandra said, taking her swishing tail and tucking it under her.

Mistoffelees sat up and tried to make eye contact with Cassandra, but she stubbornly looked away. "I'll do anything to make it up to you, Cassie."

Cassandra glanced over to the tom, seeing the vial around his neck. The queen let out a small sigh, before looking up to the tom, and smiling almost too cheerfully. "Alright," she said. "I think I know something you can do to make it up to me!"

"What's that?" Mistoffelees asked, relieved the queen was finally looking at him.

"There's something I like that most cats run away from. But I think they're beautiful."

"Vacuum cleaners?"

"No!" Cassandra glared. "Fireworks."

"Fireworks?!" Mistoffelees asked, his eyes widening.

"Give me a fireworks show, and I..." She leaned in close, "would love you…" She nuzzled him on the cheek "for the rest of your life." Leaving the tom with little to say, the queen got up and walked off with a sensual sway.

Mistoffelees sat, stunned, for quite a while, staring off into space, wondering how he could possibly accomplish that.

"Hey, Misto?" The tom jumped, looking back to see Alonzo had trotted up to him.

"Everlasting cat, Alonzo, how do you always find me?"

Alonzo stopped, looked the cat over, and seemed to be thinking the same question. Then, after a few moments, Alonzo sat next to his friend. "I was trying to come up with a witty response, but I'm in too much pain from having been beaten up over that vial around your neck."

"Beaten up?" Mistoffelees looked concerned. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Alonzo said, looking away dramatically. "But I'll survive. That's all that matters. But I need that vial, or they'll break my legs."

"Really?" Mistoffelees asked, eyes wide.

Alonzo grinned, "Well, I'm sure she'll try."

"She?"

"There's a queen." Alonzo began to explain to Mistoffelees just what had happened while he was trying to win over Cassandra.

"Well," Mistoffelees said, looking mournfully at the vial. "I guess she needs it more than we do, huh?"

"Yeah," Alonzo said, as Mistoffelees handed the vial over to him. "Listen, I have to take this back to her, lest she disappear on me like last time, so I do care about what happened between you and Cassandra, just have no time to ask. So, remember it and tell it to me when I get back, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever," Mistoffelees snorted. "You act like you're the one who has to make the fireworks happen."

"That's such a cliché euphemism, Mistoffelees," Alonzo said, as he got up and walked off. Mistoffelees was confused by what the tom had said, but let it go.

------

Alonzo put the vial around his neck and trotted along to where he left Demeter. He was a little disappointed that the vial would soon be out of his possession. But the happy look on the young queen's face should be worth it. Who knew? Maybe she would want to join the tribe afterwards instead of Macavity's, and then there would be more queens in the tribe to drool over.

But that was probably the love potion talking.

Nearing where he had left the queen, he slowed his pace a little. He didn't want this odd adventure to end quite just yet.

Then…

A sharp pain on the back of his head, stars, everything going black…

And when he opened his eyes, the midday had turned into a dawning sun, and a peach and white face looking down at him with concern. He tried to smile, but couldn't. Then he felt a horrible pain on the back of his head. When he went to lift himself up, the world spun around him, and he fell back. Demeter caught him before his head smacked against the ground.

"What happened?" he asked, gingerly feeling the back of his head with his paw.

"Um," Demeter said, scratching her cheek, thinking of the best way to tell the tom the news. "There was a queen."

Alonzo furrowed his brow. "Okay."

"Her name is Griddlebone," she explained. "She works for Macavity. And…she heard about the vial from somewhere."

Alonzo couldn't focus through the thick fog that his mind was encased in. "Okay," he said dumbly.

"Well, she found me and asked me where the vial was, and…well…she kinda was waiting for you to come back."

"Okay."

"And when she saw you…"

"Uh-huh?"

"She took the vial for herself."

"I'm not following."

Demeter sighed. "She knocked you on the head and took the vial from you!"

"Nah," he said, grasping for his neck, but finding nothing there. "Where's my collar?"

"I don't think you had one!" Demeter said in a bit of a panic. "Are you okay? Maybe I should get someone you know…"

"No, I'm okay…wasn't I wearing something around my neck?"

"Yes, you were," Demeter said, trying to help the tom up. But being such a small queen, she found the job to be very trying, putting all her energy into lifting the tom to a seated position. "You had a--"

"Wait, wait," he said. "It's coming back to me."

"Oh, good."

"It was a little black bow-tie, right?"

"No!" Demeter managed to get him to sit up, and then rose to her feet to try and get him onto his feet. She struggled to pull his arms up. "Come on, we have to get the vial back!"

"Why?" Alonzo asked. "Oh, my fur is gold and black…I thought it was white and black."

"Maybe in another life," Demeter said, now pulling backwards, dragging Alonzo a few centimeters before stopping to rest. "You were going to get me the vial so Macavity wouldn't make mince meat of me! Oh, what's the use? I should lock my cat-doors. The humans close the windows, so I guess I don't have to worry about that." She stopped talking when she realized Alonzo was staring up at her. "What?"

"Are you my mate?" Alonzo asked.

Demeter blushed under her fur. "I-wh-no!"

"Heh, I was just kidding you," Alonzo said, getting up on his feet. "It's coming back to me. Just give me a second."

"Okay," Demeter said eagerly. Then she wondered out loud, "How long has it been coming back to you?"

"After you said _Macavity_," he said, his paw on his chin as he continued trying to remember what had happened. "That name could scare any tom back to his senses. Now, shh, I need to think…Who is this Griddlebone; have I met her?" Demeter shook her head. "No, I would remember a name like that."

"The vial," Demeter urged. But Alonzo was now trying to gain spatial reasoning by using his paws to put the events back into place in the imaginary time line in front of him. "Oh, just come with me!" The queen grabbed the tom's paw and dragged him into the direction they would be sure to find Griddlebone.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Eh-heh, writers block and a new story that popped into my head kept me from updating, sorry! Okay, just to clarify, since I got this question, I'm going off the American/Broadway version of the show. This is why Alonzo is not black and white but black and gold. Really, I would call him black brown gold...he's just an explosion of color to me, heh, but I have watched (incredibly recently) one of the tours that came by and though I'm a Munkustrap fan, found myself watching Alonzo the entire time, and thought he was just adorable! It's not that I didn't love Alonzo before, it's just I felt that I loved this particular version of Alonzo I saw. It's also why Mistoffelees is trying to impress Cassandra (they were close in this other production I saw) and what not. Personally, I find the black and gold version Alonzo beautiful. _Side note_, in the recent tour, I stage-doored some of the actors, and when I asked one person who he played, and he answered "Alonzo", my response was "I'm in love with you!" I should have been embarrassed, were it not for the fact that he answered straight away, "You know who he is?!?" I think he was more fascinated with me, as he kept calling me _the only Alonzo fan in the world_, than I was with him. (I'm so bad at the stage door, heh...) ANYWAYS!!! Now that that's cleared up, please ignore me and read, just read! And review, heh. As always, if there's anything that's unclear, I want to know so it's not confusing! I am trying to learn as I go along, after all..._

* * *

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Chapter 6**

Griddlebone spun the rope with bottle tied to it on her paws as she walked assuredly back to where she had last seen Macavity. Finding him would be rather difficult, considering how he makes good use of his territory, never being in the same place at once. He didn't even have a favorite haunt. One day he would be in the abandoned warehouse, as cliché as it was, the next he would be in the park. Possibly hiding under some daffodils. And as though that image wasn't seared painfully into her brain, she once found him "half asleep" under the statue of a bunny rabbit. What's more, he had planned on conducting business there later, probably as a test to see how seriously he could be taken under the jovial eyes of a furry woodland creature staring down at them.

This fact always troubled Griddlebone. (That he was unpredictable, not his love of cute, fuzzy animals.) Obviously, he wasn't a tom to be easily tied down, and so this would create a problem when it came to trying to get him to be her mate. Yes, that's right - the lovely Griddlebone had fallen for Macavity. And though he had hardly a manly baritone like that of her former lover, he had an evil cackle that could make any queen swoon. Or faint due to fear, but she didn't bother with the particulars.

But now that she had the bottle, everything would change. She would win Macavity over.

If she could only find him!

It seemed like it had been hours of searching, but she finally stumbled upon a small trace of ginger fur left behind on a trashcan in the alleyway. She felt the trashcan lid. It was still warm, yet Macavity had managed to vanish so quickly from sight as though he knew she was coming. She glanced around before realizing there was a fire escape that seemed accessible to a tom with Macavity's prowess. The only problem was Griddlebone lacked any power of levitation.

The queen looked the situation over. This was going to take some time…

------

Rumpelteazer watched her partner in crime as he looked intently at something on a wall. She looked to see what it was, but saw nothing, before looking back to Mungojerrie. His eyes had a look of intensity in them that she had rarely seen before.

"Mungo, what is--?"

"Shh!" he said, and she quickly put a paw over her mouth. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye. Then a flash of orange and black as the tom lunged for the object that had moved. He moved his paws quickly on the wall, before something dropped. Mungojerrie quickly put his paws over it. Then a smile grew on his face.

"Haha!" he yelled triumphantly.

"What is it, what is it?" she asked excitedly, dancing from foot to foot in anticipation.

"Give me a second," he said, as he once again looked intently towards the object covered by his paws. His ears were forward in intense concentration. Carefully, he moved his paws back, and – zoom! A lizard began to run away.

Mungojerrie lunged and pounced, missed, and pounced again. On the third pounce, he pinned the tiny creature to the floor by the middle of its back. The tom grinned, before trying to get a better grip on it, then resorting to bending his head down and grabbing it with his teeth. But as he removed his paws, the lizard slipped forward just enough that the tom grabbed it by its tail. In short form, the lizard let go of its tail and raced off.

The tabby tom looked horrified as he spit out the tail. "Ewww!" He said, spitting the remnant scales out of his mouth. "It left its tail behind!"

"I can see that," Rumpelteazer said, more astonished than horrified at the sight.

"The tails' still twitching," Mungojerrie said, putting his paws over his mouth in disgust.

"Yeah, that it is."

"And it was in my mouth!"

"Well, that's your fault."

"Ewww! That's never happened before!" The tom began making retching sounds, and Rumpelteazer rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad. For Everlasting Cat's sake, Mungo, you chase and eat _bugs_!"

"But they don't let go of their _twitching tails_!"

"Yeah," Rumpelteazer agreed. "Either way, there went our lunch. Unless you can catch a rat."

Mungojerrie shuddered. "What if the rat lets go of _its_ tail?!"

"Ew…" Rumpelteazer hardly liked the thought of it, even though she knew she had handled rats by their tails time and time again, she didn't want this time to be the first time she be left with such an incident to remember. "Well, why are we catching animals when we can steal some?"

"I was bored," Mungojerrie said, shrugging. He used his paw to flick the tail into the street, and hoped to be done with that. "Do you think it will come after me?"

"After you fall asleep," Rumpelteazer said helpfully.

"Oh, well, thank you, Teaze…"

"Anything I can do to help," she smiled. "Now, I'm in the mood for argentine joint. That was so good last time. I mean, sure, our owners kicked us out and what, but it was worth it."

"Yeah," Mungojerrie said, smiling to himself. "And that look on her face when we were right back in the house later that night, as though she never threw us out. Ah, that was classic." Then he stopped as he saw a familiar cat walking in their direction. "Hey, isn't that that magic-type cat?"

Rumpelteazer smiled at the sight of him. "Oh, yeah. Where do we know him from again?" Then her face fell. "Oh my—the bottle! He's coming back to reap revenge for giving him that fake bottle!"

"We should get out of here, Teaze." The tom took the queen's paw and was about to run in the opposite direction, when the cat known as the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees looked up and noticed them. The two cats froze in their places.

"Oh, hello," he said, surprised to find them there.

"Hi!" Mungojerrie managed to squeak. He cleared his throat, and in a more normal pitch, said, "So, um….how are you? You're not…angry beyond all recognition and looking to turn two innocent, sweet cats into your magical experiment, right?" Rumpelteazer elbowed him in the ribs.

"No," Mistoffelees responded, confused. Then he smiled sadly to himself. "At least not yet."

The two cats gulped. "Oh…" Rumpelteazer said. "W-w-why is that?"

"Oh, it's just Cassie," Mistoffelees said with a sigh. "I had everything I wanted for a few seconds, and then I just ruined it because I was too shy."

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer exchanged glances, before the queen dared to step forward. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Well," Mistoffelees said, seeming to shrink down at the thought. "Let's just say, the love potion worked fine, but I seem to have trouble with queens no matter what."

"Love potion?" Rumpelteazer looked over to Mungojerrie, confused, before remembering what they had told him. "OH! Oh? Wait, what? The love potion worked?"

This time Mungojerrie whacked Rumpelteazer upside the head. "As it should have," he said, emphasizing each word.

"Right, right," Rumpelteazer said quickly. "Well…give it time to work its magic. That's how…uh…we understood it to work, right Jerrie?" He nodded in agreement. "I mean, love isn't so easy a thing to work with, right? It needs time to…grow, or whatever."

"Hmm," Mistoffelees said, nodding. "I think you're right. I mean, a really well made potion would work in subtlety as not to interfere with the delicate lives it deals with, right?" Rumpelteazer opened her mouth to respond, but having no clue as to what he meant, she simply nodded. "Thanks, you two." With that, the tom trotted off, a new kick in his step.

Rumpelteazer and Mungojerrie turned to one another. "It works?" She asked.

"It works, apparently," Mungojerrie agreed. "That's straight from the magician's mouth! I thought we made that up!"

"So did I!"

"We _have_ to get that potion back."

"Agreed. But how? He doesn't have it! And I'm not gunna try and take it from _him_."

"Well, maybe one of those other cats have it. The ones who were with him when we gave it to him."

"Right, Alonzo or that other cat." Rumpelteazer sighed at the thought. "What was his name? I think I know who I want to use the potion on first." She looked over to Mungojerrie, and was surprised to see him frowning at her. "What?"

"Nothing," he said haughtily. "Just that you would _need_ a love potion to get _his_ attention. He would never be interested in you." Rumpelteazer's jaw dropped, then she gave him the angriest look she could muster before pushing the tom back. He fell off the curb and landed on his back on the street.

"That's what you get."

"Ahhh!" He screamed, wrestling to his feet.

"What?" she asked, aghast.

"It came back to haunt me!" He threw something to the side. "The zombie tail! Ew! I landed on it. Ugh!"

The queen smiled in satisfaction.

------

Macavity stood on top of the building, staring out to the city that he planned to make his own by the end of the year. Then all the queens would be his, all the toms would fall at his feet, and all the riches would be in his possession. And it all would have been his sooner if his lackeys weren't so…lackey-like.

He saw out of the corner of his eye a white paw come up over the side of the building. That was followed by another paw, and then a queen hoisting herself up onto the building, gasping for air. Macavity let out a cough, lest he point and laugh at the queen. But that wasn't very appropriate for the Napoleon of Crime to do.

Griddlebone took a moment to catch her breath before hoisting herself over the edge. She took a few deep breaths in, quickly groomed her coat, and let out a long sigh, before coming to Macavity's side, as composed as could be.

"What do you want, Griddlebone?" he asked in a gruff voice.

The queen made a show of slipping something over her neck. She then looked at the tom and smiled seductively. "I was just looking for you."

"And somehow, I find myself unimpressed by your ability to find me," he said. "I heard you wheezing from a mile away."

"That was a long climb!" she defended.

"And you should be grateful I didn't leave from here the moment I heard you coming."

"Is that your way of saying you _wanted_ me to find you?" she asked hopefully.

"I enjoy watching the sunset from here," he said, narrowing his eyes at the queen. "And I knew you weren't a threat if you could barely make it up here. You have too much fur – it insolates too much heat. I'm surprised you could haul that enormous tail up here. And how you manage to function with those ribbons tied around your feet, I can only wonder – and I'm the smartest cat you'll ever meet. So you can imagine how your entire anatomy, and choice of adornments over said anatomy, in confusing _me_, confuses _everyone_."

Griddlebone was dumbfounded, unable to give any response. He was sure she didn't understand a word he had said. She instead fiddled with the thing around her neck, as she pouted. In a moment, Macavity recognized the vial, and with little concern for the queen wearing it, tore it from her neck. She squeaked in surprise, then look livid with him.

"What is this?" he asked. "Do you know what I went through to play with that one queen's mind? Where did you get it? Did you take it from her?"

"Um…"

"You did, didn't you?" Macavity sighed, looking at the vial in his paws. "And now, what she must think of me, knowing how angry I'll be that she doesn't have it." He smiled to himself. "Well, we can't make it look like _I_ was the one sabotaging her, now can we?"

With a flick of his wrist, the tom tossed the bottle over the edge of the building. Griddlebone nearly dove for it, but Macavity grabbed her by the scruff of her neck, before pulling her back.

"You fool," he said as she steadied herself. "What did you think you were doing, jumping after that?"

"It's going to break now!" she said, more concerned with the bottle as she leaned over the building to see what had become of it.

"_Break_," he said sarcastically, scoffing. He grew serious suddenly. "Oh, yeah…" There was a big chance the bottle would break once it hit the ground, and he would have to feign belligerent anger at the queen for giving him back a broken bottle. He hadn't thought his actions through…

----

Bombalurina walked along the streets, pulling the petals off the rose in her paw one at a time. She sighed to herself, wondering how she had fallen for the Cat About Town so easily. Over a flower, a _flower_! Of all things, she fell for a _flower_. She pondered over this when--

Smack!

All she saw were stars for a moment, and when her sight cleared, she felt a huge lump on her head. What had hit her? She looked around her, but didn't see anything on the ground. Her ears fell back against her head in confusion, and she felt something hit against her cheek.

"What the…?" She felt the side of her face and found a vial hanging off her ear by a small rope. "What is this thing?" After managing to get it off her ear, she was faced with a vial. "Oh! It's the vial that one kitten was supposed to take care of!" Then she looked up, wondering where it had fallen from.

"How did she manage to lose it?" she asked to no one in particulat. After a moment of clouded contemplation – as she was still bent out of shape from the pain – she decided it would probably be best to give it back to the queen who lost it. The question was, where to find her? She wasn't about to climb onto the building to try and find her, so she thought it best to look around the area where she first met the queen, as she might hang around there.

The red queen let her mind drift as she walked down the sidewalk, thinking about nothing important, wondering what she would have for dinner that night, when she would go to get her collar cleaned. Then a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Hmm…" came the masculine voice. "Now there's something you don't see everyday."

The queen turned to look at the tom, and found herself speechless when she saw who she was dealing with. Before her was the most handsome tom she had ever known to exist, and what's more, he had his gorgeous brown eyes on _her_. He leaned against the wall, looking her over, and for the first time in her life, the queen thought for sure she would melt.

The queen smiled coyly at the tom. "What's that?"

"Do I even need to answer that?" he asked, looking her over, a smile emerging on his face.

Normally, she wouldn't encourage such pathetic pick up lines. But who could resist that voice? …or that face? …or that body…

"What's your name?" he asked, getting up from his leaning stance against the wall and taking a few steps closer to her. She hoped he would keep on walking to him, but he stopped just a few inches from her, his eyes going to the vial around her neck. His eyebrows rose lightly, before looking at the queen a little differently.

Confused, she answered with a still flirty smile, "Bombalurina." She could feel the blood rushing to her face at the intent look she was getting from her prospective lover. Or, as she had already began referring to her as in her mind, her _mate_. Oh, what a couple they would make! He was gorgeous, she was gorgeous, they'd be gorgeous together, and spend their lives entwined in passion and ---

"That's a silly name…"

…and suddenly, _gorgeous_ turned into _sniveling, sorry excuse for a rat_.

"Oh…" she said, with a forced smile on her face. "And what's your _great_ name?"

"I am _the_ Rum Tum Tugger." He ran his paw through his head fur for emphasis.

"…and you need to emphasize a 'the' in front of that name?"

"When you have a name like that, it needs something special, baby."

"Like a better name? I agree."

The tom twitched his ear. "You don't like my name?"

"You don't like mine," she countered. She flicked her tail and began walking off. She heard footfalls behind her, and tried to ignore them. And continued to try and ignore them. Ignoring…ignoring…_la_ _la__la_…she couldn't hear the footfalls, he wasn't there. She would just try and pretend that he wasn't—

"What is it?!" she finally asked, stamping her foot and turning to stare at him.

"I can't believe you don't like my name," he said, sneering at the queen. "Especially with a name like _yours_."

"My name is perfect," she said, putting her paw on her hip. "A particular name for a particularly perfect cat!"

"My name happens to be _particularly_ particular," said the tom, losing all finesse he first presented himself with as he leaned in close to the queen. "Better than your name, any day! What is it supposed to mean, anyway?"

"I don't know," she hissed. "It means me, a beautiful queen with beautiful markings that any tom would die to be with!"

"Oh, yeah," he said, rolling his eyes. "Any tom is dying to be with you, that's why you need this little trinket around your neck, huh?" He flicked his paw at the vial around her neck, causing it to sway across her chest.

"What?" Bombalurina asked. "What does _this_ have to do with anything?"

"Yeah, like you don't know," scoffed the tom. "Mistoffelees told me all about these things! Trying to trap a tom like that, it's disgusting! It baffled me at first that I would even take notice of you. I mean, come on, when's the last time you saw a red _queen_? Only toms are red! But then I see you're wearing that damned love potion and it all makes sense now! You're usually not my type, you know?"

Bombalurina furrowed her brows. "You're not making much sense, you ineffable twit." With that, she turned on her heels, and began walk away. Still, the tom followed at her heels. "Why are you still following me!?"

"I can't help it, now can I?" he growled, as he walked by her side. "I can't have a queen as beautiful as you walking around with a love potion around her neck. You would make all the toms run after you, and then you would be in trouble." The queen rolled her eyes, wondering if this was some elaborate game he was playing. "Of course, if that can make a tom like _me_ chase after you, then I'm certain it can do a lot of harm to any tom that came across your path."

"I have no idea if you're hitting on me or not," the queen said, eying the tom suspiciously.

"I don't know, either!" The Rum Tum Tugger said. "But I can't let you loose on the city or the toms lose on you." Completely confused by this tom she found irresistible not a few moments ago, the queen let out a sigh and tried to ignore him. "Toms like _him_, for example."

"What?" Bombalurina looked up just in time to see an orange tabby knock her down on the ground. By the time the queen looked back up, she saw Mungojerrie proudly holding a vial in his paw.

"Look, Teaze!" he said cheerily. "Miracles _do_ come true!"

"Oh," Bombalurina said as she watched the tabby female run up to her comrade. "It's that horrible cat!"

To the queen's surprise, the tom beside her yelled, "what are you doing knocking queens over?"

"Well," Bombalurina said as she got up, "if you were so concerned, you could do something to _help me up_!"

"Just sharpened my nails on a tree, earlier," the tom explained, showing his perfectly manicured nails to the queen.

"Oh, forget it," Bombalurina said, then set her sights on Mungojerrie. The tom let out a squeak of surprise, before turning and running. "You know I'm not going to let you get away with that, Mungojerrie!" She ran after the tabby tom.

"I'll save you, Jerrie!" Rumpelteazer called out as she took after the two.

Instinctively, the Rum Tum Tugger went running after the three. But after a few strides, he stopped, brushed off his coat, and asked himself, "Why am _I_ chasing them for?!"


End file.
